Thinking Ahead..

So i have done a lot of thinking this past week, and here it is...

I have decided i need to move forward and keep thinking positive, no matter how hard things get i remind myself i came into this world alone and i can do it on my own.

I have decided to crack on with my fitness and carry on getting healthy, although i missed a week and all my eating went wrong :( i am still positive i can do this, so i will weigh myself when i get home, take some snaps and start over again!

I need to plan for the future, although i was planning anyway, i need to put it into action now! So i want my son to have a good childhood and grow up to become somebody, so i want to make something out of myself to be a good role model for him.

First step is saving, (Save save save) I have opened up a savings account and is currently started saving already, first i want to study hard and take my theory test (for a car) and then i want to crack on with some lessons, (as much help and advice for the steps of doing this, or easier ways to study please let me know)

As i want to move away, i need my car first, i know it will take time and i have all the time i need, as long as i aiming for something and got something to look forward to, it will keep me going :)
Once i have my car, i know i can drive home and visit family when i can.

I have been through some tough stuff in the past, and i am still going strong, I am not afraid to let people know when i am down, but i will get back up again and keep moving forward. (the only way is up)

I want my son and niece and well every child to grow up knowing that giving up is not a answer and you must keep fighting to achieve, and i want to prove to everyone i can do this!

Plus its the weekend! hope everyone is having a good Friday!!

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Much Appreciated

I do hope that the people that gave me advice and tried to make me feel better through this hard time when you do not know me read this!

It has been very hard these past few days, but with the help of family and people on here i have a reason to have a bit of hope in myself, everyone on here has really kind words and it means so much to me, it has made me feel not so alone and that their are some people out their that are nice and caring even when they do not know me, i value that very much.

I am not OK, i am not feeling good, but i am coping, i managed to eat a bit of steak and few chips on Monday, Yesterday i managed to eat a packet of crisp and some a pork chop haha! (Yes i know, not a lot) it is not a lot since Thursday last week but it is a start.

I am starting to get my apatite back, and that makes me feel better. My son puts a massive smile on my face, when i am home from work and he tells me about his long day at school and his friends that makes me feel so much better, i need to give him the happiest life :) 

I have the rest of his birthday stuff arrive tomorrow, So exciting! (not revealing till his birthday haha!) but all i do need to do now is get some banners and balloons for at home, (as his birthday party is at a play area for kids called jump)

JUMP 

I have had good news about my laptop (well not good) but it is good for me knowing i did not break it haha! it was a faulty laptop and they have returned my money! (Yay) so going to look for a different one now.

 Also i don't have my phone :( because it so water damaged (apparently beyond repair) but my dad has let me borrow his phone :) 

So although i am finding things really hard right now, i am looking at all the positives and trying to not dwell on what is getting me down :( i feel i have hope that one day this pain will stop, and this empty feeling will go away, but as for now i need to concentrate on myself and my son.

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Lower than low

So i have not wrote in a while.

So me and my partner have recently split up 3 days ago, Friday just gone.

It has been such a tough weekend, and was a tough week last week.

I am feeling very low and very hurt, i cant seem to eat anything and keep it down.

I am trying to be very strong for my son but it is very hard i can not shift this emptiness feeling and this hole i am left with.

I know i need to move on and think of myself and my son, but its hard i do not know where to start.

Everything i look at reminds me of him, everything i do or think about is always him.

I am and want to be stronger than that.

I thought i would share this now, as i will most likely not be posting for a while, or maybe i will just to keep my mind of it and on to something else.

I would love it if anyone had any advice on where to start moving forward, what can i do?



Hope Everyone Has Had a Great Weekend.

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Bad and Good

Been a while since my last post,

So i had some previous problems with my phone as i stated before and it has come out of the shop and it is completely water damaged! (oops) so i am now going to just buy a new phone, i have been looking at different phones and i am thinking the Samsung 6 edge plus, (not certain yet) anyone know any good phones then please let me know :D

So on other news, remember me telling everyone about my nice new little laptop i had! yeah well it was faulty, (Yep, thats right) so that had to be returned and i am currently waiting on my money refund so i can buy a new one!

SO my phone and laptop decides to just break on me, (what a bummer!) i know i know, so i have been working and plodding along with my diploma work (Exhausting!)

In more exciting news my son went back to school Monday 7 and aw he is growing so fast! He is now in year one, he was so excited to go back for his first day of year one and really did enjoy it, i met his new teacher and seen his classroom, (pretty small) but i am sure he is going to get on very well, it is exciting time this week and next because he is handing out his party invitations to all his friends!

So that is all that has been happening in my little life so far, I am thinking of starting new post about my life experience from preganancy while young up to where i am now, (not decided)

Hope everyone has had a good summer holiday!

Let me know your blogs and i shall read :)

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Goes So Fast.

So Fast

 

So the summer holidays goes by so fast, hope everyone has had a lovely summer. (those of us who did not have to work) As most people know i work throughout all the holidays! (or if you did not you do now)

 SO i am halfway through my Diploma Level 2 Business and Admin. I am really enjoying it so far, the people i work with is nice as well so that is a bonus! I would highly recommend any one who is stuck on what to do to just grab themselves a apprenticeship, it is good fun you get paid whilst your learning still, brilliant!

 

So this month is very special to me, as this is the month i had my beautiful little boy, (not so little anymore :( ) he is currently going to be 6 this year on the 23/09 it is very scary how fast it goes, he also goes up to year one next week on Monday!! 

 It is exciting but terrifying, i must say i am such a proud mummy! and in the words of K Koke " i will teach them how the roads is, teach my son to never trust no cold bitch, and my daughters independent get your own shit"  haha love a bit of humor me!  

 

But on a series note, i have arranged a birthday party for him on the weekend of his birthday at the play area for kids called Jump, where he has invited his own friends and is looking forward to it very much, i will give details of how his birthday went and what i got him soon after! (Shh it is a surprise)

 

On other news, i am still waiting on a update on how my phone is getting on at the phone hospital haha! hopefully it will be fixed soon, i am using my camera to take any photos and will upload them as soon as i get time. 

 

Once again as usual, please feel free to comment, leave your blogs and follow my to the right >>>>>>>>>>>

 

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